HEARTLIGHT ® Magazine: Just for Women: Home Sweet Home

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and an authoritarian father. When Bob came along in her life, he seemed able to read her mind. He was charming and delightful, unlike anyone she had ever met. He knew just what she liked, and if she didn’t, he told her! It was so nice to have someone “take control” the way he did.

After they were married, he seemed to change.

The only shadows on Angela’s horizon were Bob’s occasional bouts of jealousy. Bob always explained that it was because he loved her so much. She remembered the time when, in a jealous rage, he burned his hand, on purpose, with a cigarette. (Later it was her body that would be burned.)

After they were married, he seemed to change. It was as though she suddenly was not a person anymore. She became his property—with no mind or rights of her own, and given privileges every now and then when she was good.

When Angela thought about leaving, fear and guilt overwhelmed her. What if he carried out the veiled threats to hurt her parents or take the children away? And, would God still love her? After all, she had been taught that divorce was a sin. She loved God. She wanted to be a good example to the children. In addition, Angela was not in a position to provide for the children. She had not worked since Robbie was born. Besides, there were times when Bob could be really charming. He was not abusive all the time. Maybe she needed to “forgive and forget.” Maybe he was right, she just needed to try harder at being more submissive.

As time passed, Angela tried again and again to be the kind of wife Bob wanted. Nothing worked! It was when she saw the effect on the two children that she finally got up the courage to ask for help. A friend told her about our organization: Open Arms Home, a long-term program for battered women and their children. She left with almost nothing but hope for their future!

After being accepted into the program, Angela tested for job training and was admitted for computer training courses. She knew young Robbie was angry. The Open Arms Home staff told her to expect it. Even so, she was taken aback at how much like his father he looked and sounded... His dad had really made an impression on him. But after a month at the campus, Robbie settled down. His mother would hear him laughing out loud, a sound she had not heard in a long time. She even heard herself laugh. It was a relief to learn that God’s grace was indeed “sufficient” to her too. You see, God’s plan for her never included abuse. Robbie was in counseling as well. He was learning to deal with his anger. He no longer hit and hurt the kids at school when he got frustrated. Other children started liking him again.

Robbie has a different feeling about things now. His stomach does not knot up anymore whenever anyone talks about home. He actually looks forward to getting back to the campus and the other children. It was just days ago, that Robbie came in from school smelling hot and sweet like a new puppy. Dropping his backpack onto the bed, he sighed, “Home, sweet home!”

Elna Vanderberg, M.Min., is Executive Director of the Open Arms Home in North Richland Hills, Texas.