Together in Christ: 'Don't Get Caught in the Cycle of Destructive Anger' — Proverbs 19:19

Being a friend to someone with an out-of-control temper frequently comes with a heavy price tag. I remember riding with a friend to a major sporting event. He had not budgeted enough time to do his work before leaving. We left nearly an hour behind schedule. He began the trip angry with himself and with his last caller. Worsening traffic slowed us down even more. He soon began to drive like a crazy person, frightening all of us in the car with him and infuriating drivers he cut off. Thankfully, no one was injured and no one went fully road rage on him, though they might have if they could have caught up with us.

We arrived at the sporting event seconds before it started. Unfortunately, none of us enjoyed it because of the awful experience of getting there. At an opportune time, several of us challenged this friend to get help with his anger. We each emphasized that we would not do things with him again until he did. We knew it had to stop. We didn't want to live the proverb, "If you rescue them once, you will have to do it again" and knew his anger wasn't good for him.

Thankfully, our friend acknowledged that his anger permeated much of his life. He had already lost many possible friends to his abrasive demeanor. Through help, he realized his anger was tied to his harsh, unloving, never-affirming father. He then began to address his anger with his father, but it took decades for him to learn life skills to overcome his anger, bring it under control, and apologize for his previous lifestyle.

There is a price to pay for being mean, having a bad temper, living a life hostile toward others, and choosing not to address being hot-tempered. God's wisdom tells us to confront those who sin and try to help them change. ^[1] However, there comes a time when we must break ties with those who cannot or will not deal with their inner furies. They have chosen to live with the anger on their sleeves. They have accepted expressing anger explosively toward others. With such people, rescue may not be appreciated and is never final until they choose to deal with the source of their rage appropriately; they must repent, apologize, learn ways to better deal with anger, and seek the healing that only God's Spirit can bring. However, the point of today's verse is clear: God's wisdom tells us that we must avoid such people if they choose not to control their anger. If they choose not to change, then we must choose not to enable their sinful and destructive life, or it will drag us down with them.