As the radio advertisement says, “People do judge you by the words you choose.” So it’s not surprising to find the Bible emphasizing the importance of… …how we speak,
…when we say it,
…what words we choose, and
…why we say what we say.

Choosing the right word involves all four of these dimensions.

1. HOW “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) How we speak matters. It's not just a matter of content, but also a matter of how we present it. “When you talk, you should always be kind and pleasant,” Paul reminds us (Colossians 4:6). God wants us to take care with how we speak.

2. WHEN “To make an apt answer is a joy to anyone, and a word in season, how good it is!” (Proverbs 15:23) Many things we say a helpful or hurtful based on the timing and the appropriateness of the word to the moment. “The right word spoken at the right time is as beautiful as gold apples in a silver bowl.” (Proverbs 25:11)

3. WHAT “And I tell you that on the Judgment Day people will be responsible for every careless thing they have said. The words you have said will be used to judge you. Some of your words will prove you right, but some of your words will prove you guilty.” (Matthew 12:36-37) The words we choose are important themselves. Cursing, belittling, crude, and unhelpful speech are not pleasing to God. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths… With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.” (Ephesians 4:29; James 3:9-10)

4. WHY “Speak only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29) The most important thing in our speech is our intent. While no one, other than God will know that completely, we can intentionally change our speech to fit a gracious intent. This is what Christian speech is all about. The primary Christian word for speech in the New Testament means to encourage, comfort, and exhort. In other words, the key term for speech in the New Testament is about crafting our message to help others based on their needs. “For you know that we dealt with you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God.” (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12)