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December 1 Advent
has begun and I live in Prague — the Golden City of 100-spires. Yet a
weight of darkness clings to me which I cannot quite shake. Today while
strolling across the Charles Bridge, that architectural gem built in the 14th
Century by the Holy Roman Emperor, King Charles, I sensed a whisper, an
accusation, from some strange voice that my life is meaningless; As I meandered across the bridge and made my way into the Jewish quarter I was struck by the fact that I am lonely. Oh yes, I have a lovely wife and three wonderful children, but nonetheless there is a growing fog in Prague; something in the air, no doubt, but also within me. While looking at the blank stares on people’s faces I wondered if anyone cares. I wonder if I do? A few minutes later I arrived at the Jewish cemetery, a gray and somber graveyard where thousand of tombstones are piled upon each other in chaotic manner. I then overheard a tour-guide explaining in Czech how the Black Plague, the Nazi & Soviet occupations, and some Evil Red Dragon have been stealing hope and taking lives for centuries in this so-called magical city. An Evil Red Dragon? Now, wait a minute. Did I hear correctly? Was he saying that some outside force has been behind much of the evil in Prague? It seems like this is ‘passing the buck.’ But then again there has been that whisper, that accusing voice. I’ve tended to attribute this voice to self-doubt, culture-shock, or maybe even depression. I’m not sure what it is, though this ‘funk’ that I’m feeling is more than just having a bad day; there does seem to be something or someone who is after me. Oh Lord Jesus, would you restore my soul or I will sleep the sleep of death. Would you send me a messenger--anyone who might come and bring me a ray of hope? With all that is within me, I will to trust in you. Amen. |
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that everything is meaningless. As I
peered off the bridge at the icy-cold Vltava River I wondered as the psalmist
did so many years ago, “Why am I cast down, oh my soul?”